“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”

Apparently, in August, my mind turns toward writing.  For example, last August, I said to myself, “I should start a blog.”  And I did.  Question:  Does one blog entry a blog make?  This August, I said to myself, “I feel like writing” & continued my line of thinking with “I have a blog! I’ll go write a blog entry for my very own blog.”

However, also apparently, when one starts a blog, one needs to actually write a blog entry every now & then in order to remember where one’s blog is.  Or have the foresight to write one’s blog address down somewhere.  Just in case.

As noted, it has been a year since I have been to this blog.  If I were Catholic, I would be making my confession thusly, “Forgive me, Father.  I want to write.  It has been one year since I last wrote.”

I discovered that it’s rather hard to get back to a blog when (1) you don’t remember where it is & (2) you don’t remember what you called it.

First, I thought I remembered that I used Word Press.  Word Press did not recognize me.

Next, I did a Google search for my name.  And the only thing related to me that came up was my Facebook page.

However, I learned that there are a bunch of other Wendy Tates out there, & I wondered, “Who are all these other Wendy Tates living my life?”

Seriously, if one had polled my 18 year old self & asked what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be, when I grew up, all these other Wendy Tates are doing it… I found an Artist Wendy Tate, an Author Wendy Tate, a Photographer Wendy Tate, & a Professor Wendy Tate.  And I can’t remember which one, but one of these Wendy Tates is living my life in England.  You know, hanging with Prince William.  If there had been a Girl Detective Wendy Tate with a hunky sidekick, well, just about everything would have been covered.

Sadly, there was not a Suburban Housewife Wendy Tate.  Oh, there probably are, but we typically don’t turn up in internet searches.  Well, sometimes, we do, but not just for the suburban lifestyle.  There has to be something else going on in addition to the living in the suburbs thing.

Then, I tried to remember what I called my blog… Wendy’s Wonderings?  Wanderings & Wonderings?  Wonderings & Wanderings?  Sometimes, Wendy Wanders?  Sometimes, Wendy Wonders? 

Guess what?

There are numerous blogs already out there with all these names.  And who are all these people (some of them named Wendy no less) with my blog name?  Last August, I thought I was being so clever.  “ ‘Wanderings & Wonderings’ – What panache that has,” I said to myself.  As did everyone else, I’m sure, who came up with the same cute, alliterative witty name for their blogs. (And the more I type it, the less panache-y it is.)

Regardless of how many other “Wanderings & Wonderings” there are out there; because I haven’t been to my own particular “Wanderings & Wonderings” in over a year, my blog, of course, wasn’t showing up on the first 15 or so pages of my Google search.

I remembered that I had linked to my blog from Facebook, so, one evening, while the Dear Husband was watching the Turtleman show, I scrolled back through a year’s worth of posts.

Sidenote:  If you have never scrolled back through your Facebook posts, you should. I laughed.  I cried.  I rolled my eyes.  Seriously, since I don’t keep a diary or journal, (remember the whole “Forgive me, Father.  It has been a year since I last wrote” thing?), going back through my Facebook posts was like paging back through the entire last year of my life.  In short sentences with some varied hashtags.

Anyway, Eureka!!  Link to my blog was found!

And it is Word Press.  I guess they weren’t recognizing my password?  And the title of my poor lost blog is, indeed, “Wanderings & Wonderings.” (Or was, & I’m sick of typing it now anyway!)

After emailing Word Press for a new password, here I am.  Back again. However, obviously, my blog needs a more unique name, &, as has been determined, “Wanderings & Wonderings” ain’t it.  (It also needs some pretty photos to hold your attention, but I digress.)

Now, I do realize blogging is nothing new; in fact, I’m jumping on the bandwagon rather late. I think a lot of people have moved on past blogs.  And mommy blogs & wife-y blogs are absolutely nothing new.  It’s been done & has been done better.  But, still… I mean, why not?  Sometimes, I have things I want to write.

So, once again, I’m faced with what to call my very own not-so-unique corner?  Obviously something beyond “Wanderings & Wonderings.”  

Way back when I first thought of a blog, in my head, I was going to be witty & clever and end every entry with “I wonder” or “I wander” because isn’t that cute?  Endearing even?  Hence the “Wanderings & Wonderings,” but we’re moving beyond that, remember?

To change it up a bit, my first thought was “Ramblings, Wanderings, & Wonderings.”  You know, to cover all my bases.  Because that’s what I do.  Ramble.  And wander.  And wonder.  But my OCD self really didn’t like the lack of alliteration.  The “ramblings” just didn’t fit.

“Rambling with Wendy”?  That sounds like I’m some sort of cowgirl out on the range though.  And, honestly, who really wants to read anyone else’s ramblings? On the range or not.

And, realistically, if we’re going with “rambling,” we could just as easily go with “procrastinating” or “worrying” or “overthinking.”  The possibilities are endless.  Although, “Worrying with Wendy” is nicely alliterative.

“Confessions of a Slacker Mom”?  Accurate, yes.  And I want my blog to be real, to be honest.  But, alas, there are many, many, many other blogs out there with this moniker.  Slacker moms, unite!

“Confessions of a Suburban Mom”?  Also, accurate, but I… wondered (see, I do it all the time!) if people would be confused.  Is she a mom that lives in the suburbs?  Or, is she a mom that drives a Suburban?  And I don’t.  Drive a Suburban, that is.  I drive a Dodge Caravan mini-van.

So, “Caravan Ramblings”?  Now, I sound like some sort of gypsy.  Rambling along in a caravan.

“Mumbles from a Mini-Van Mom”?  Nice alliteration but like the mini-van mom thing hasn’t already been done as well?  And I don’t think anyone really wants to know what I mumble under my breath while the older two children argue, the younger child kicks my seat, & some cute young thang in a sporty little car thinks she can cut me off just because I’m driving a mini-van.

And why, all of a sudden, does the name of the blog need to reference my vehicle?  If so, then how about “Wannabe BMW Momma”?   Which, now that I think about it, no.  “Wannabe BMW Momma” sounds like some sort of personal ad.

Moving on, I also thought about “Coastal Confessions” because of my love affair with the beach and coastal things.  However, I think Jimmy Buffett already has the coastal confessions covered.

And, speaking of the ocean, sometimes, I may write or, if we’re being honest (& we are), more accurately think about writing about being a mom, while, other times, I may think about writing about being a wife.   However, sometimes, I may wanna write about God or homeschooling or Pinterest or the aforementioned ocean or the way I hate mayonnaise or about something I’ve read or Disney World or our dog or our kittens or my favorite season of summer or a great sale at the mall or my favorite TV show or the trials of P90X or Christmas or how I really like fried green tomatoes or how I hate it when it starts getting darker earlier.  Or maybe I decide to write about everything all at once in one big blog entry?  I could do that; I really think I could.

Conceivably, there are all sorts of topics about which I can ramble, wander, or wonder.  So it needs to be more than “Wendy the Wife” or “Wendy the Mom.”

Actually, one of the better blog names of which I thought (& upon which I almost decided) was “In the Shower with Wendy.”

I do a lot of thinking in the shower.  In fact, I’ve written wonderful novels in the shower.  My problem is, after I get out of the shower & dry off, I’ve either forgotten what I said or lost the desire to say it.  But I do my best planning, analyzing, & scheming in the shower.  If I need to think about it, pray about it, cry over it, decide on it, rant & rave about it, or meditate on it, I do it in the shower.  Sometimes, I’m in the shower two or three times a day.  Water’s cheap therapy, y’all.  Sometimes, I even share my shower with the Dear Husband, &, when we don’t get distracted, we can have some really good conversations in the shower.

But, alas, while “In the Shower with Wendy” is catchy & may attract a lot of readers, it may be a bit misleading.  I can see some dude in his parents’ basement scrolling through the internet late at night:  “In the Shower with Wendy”?  Don’t mind if I do! Wait a minute… What is this?  Some suburban housewife talking about the best way to load a dishwasher? And she doesn’t even drive a Suburban.

One day, back when I was in college, my friend & I discussed how we could decorate our future homes with different Disney themes.  Because that’s the type of things college girls talk about at lunch in the cafeteria.

We came up with wonderful themes for each room:  The Dining Room was going to be “Beauty & the Beast” for the “Be Our Guest” song complete with Lumiere candles & dancing china while the Living Room would be themed for “Aladdin” with the magic carpet.  The family room would be decorated like the “Jungle Book,” & our playroom would be Neverland from “Peter Pan.”   Our son’s room was going to be “Winnie the Pooh,” our daughter’s room would be “Sleeping Beauty,” & the baby’s nursery had to be “Dumbo.”  The main bathroom was going to be a Little Mermaid “Under the Sea” extravaganza.  And the master bedroom would be… “Lady and the Tramp.”  We were most impressed with the master bedroom!

At the time, we both had boyfriends (both of whom, coincidentally enough, became our husbands), & we just assumed that they, too, would love our ideas.   Also, incidentally, while I don’t know about my friend & her husband’s home, I can tell you that our home does not currently have any of these themes.  Well, our bathroom does have a “Mickey & Minnie at the Beach” theme, & we do have a “Jungle Book” lamp in the family room.  But, alas, our bedroom is not a “Lady & the Tramp” theme.

Anyway, my kitchen was going to be an “Alice in Wonderland” theme because this particular Wendy in a kitchen is a lot like Alice in Wonderland.   When the Dear Husband and I first got married, anything kitchen-y was just really not my forte.

One Saturday morning, right after we got married, while he was out running some errands, I decided to make myself a cup of tea.  At the time, we had burner covers on the stove eyes.  On top of one of those burner covers was a set of plastic measuring cups that hadn’t been put away.  Anyway, I filled up the tea kettle & turned the stove on & left the kitchen to go read or something.  Some time later, the burning smell of metal & plastic alerted me to the fact I turned on the wrong burner which wouldn’t have been so bad except I hadn’t removed the covers from the other burners.  The Dear Husband came home to find his new bride hanging out the kitchen window while gray smoke poured out behind me.

I’m better, but not by much.

But Wendy in a Kitchen/Alice in Wonderland got me thinking.  (“A dangerous pastime I know…” See what I did there with the Disney theme?)

While, honestly, I consider myself more of a Neverland girl (Peter Pan & Wendy!), Wonderland’s not that far off.  It’s like a spin-off.  Just ask ABC – “Once Upon a Time” and, now coming to a small screen near you this fall, “Once Upon a Time in Wonderland.”

And, oh my goodness, some of the quotes from “Alice in Wonderland” just fit me so, so well –

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”

“You used to be much more…’muchier.’ You’ve lost your muchness.”

“How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another.”

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

“My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.”

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.”

And, of course – “We’re all mad here.”  But maybe not so much – “Off with her head!”  Or, only, sometimes.

But, really, I do often feel like I’m in a bit of wonderland.  Who am I?  Well, I’m still discovering myself.  And I have lots of thoughts to think.  And journeys to take.

My own personal Jabberwocky aside, though, this crazy, beautiful life with which God has blessed us is wonder-ful.

The way the sun’s rays light the corners of our home, lightning bugs twinkling in a mason jar, the intoxicating smell of a freshly washed 4-year-old’s hair, ghost stories & ‘smores on our back deck, LEGOS on the floor, bedtime stories, laughter, kisses, hugs, watching our 3 children grow, resting within the strong arms of my Dear Husband, secure in the love of our family… the simple beauty, the simple goodness, the simple sweetness of all these gifts sometimes take my breath away.

The other night, the Dear Husband, the 3 kids, our 2 kittens, our dog, & I were all together in our family room, & I thought to myself, “I do not deserve this, but thank you, Lord.”

Thank you for this, our own little wonderland. 

So… “Wendy Wanders in Wonderland”

It’s alliterative.  It’s accurate.  It very much fits this particular Wendy.

Maybe I’ll get back here before next August.  And, if this doesn’t work, there’s always “In the Shower with Wendy.”

“In a Wonderland they lie
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die.”

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About wendytate

Wife to a wonderful man, homeschooling mom to 3 great kids, a sentimental romantic, & a Proverbs 31 wannabe. I procrastinate with flair, I'm proud to be southern, & I love anything beachy! My motto: Make good memories. My husband's motto for me: If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing. Blessed. Forgiven. Loved. Grateful.
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